


he's trying, isn't that enough?

by calumhood



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Really this is just short and sweet, maybe a little conflict, this is what happens when I get the urge to write the boyfriends being cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 08:21:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1184037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calumhood/pseuds/calumhood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry wants to marry Louis. Louis just wants to be with Harry. Sometimes they get a little frustrated with each other, but usually saying 'sorry' is always good enough for them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	he's trying, isn't that enough?

**Author's Note:**

> this is basically just something I felt like typing because it wouldn't leave me alone 
> 
> tumblr: itwasntfunny

 Harry hung his coat up, stomping his feet on the mat below him. It's been a long day, one filled with staring at glass displays for hours. Nodding his head to every ring that was suggested to him, because none of them were _the one_. That is, until El spotted a really nice piece, with five round diamonds diagonally fitting across the band of white gold. It would look really great on Louis, his small hand with it around his ring finger. It was all making Harry nervous. The constant reminder that nothing was definite, and there's always that chance Louis could say 'no'.

 Not second guessing, he bought it, and wants to take Louis out tomorrow, or whenever the time felt appropriate, so he could _finally_ propose. It's been years, many coffee dates, secret kisses, those really cheesy movie nights with popcorn all over the sofa, and it's finally time.

 It's all he's been thinking about for a while now, and he knew he wanted to marry Louis even just after the first few weeks of being with him. Things haven't changed, and the feelings grow stronger with each day that passes.

 He's told a few people about wanting to do it. Like Niall, though Niall is almost terrible at keeping secrets, he said that he wouldn't tell even a fly. Niall gets excited for these things, and told Harry he should be romantic yet spontaneous; to keep it down low and to do something that would catch Louis off guard. Those were things Harry had in mind, because if he wasn't careful, Louis would catch on, because Louis isn't dumb — he's stupidly smart. That's the only way Harry can describe Louis' head, as stupidly smart.

 He's not rushing into it just yet, and his mood changes, seeing that Louis didn't come greet him. That more than likely means Louis is annoyed with him, and he might know why. 

 It wasn't that, it wasn't the fact that they were stuck, and they were just pawns in a game of chess. Always hiding. It was having to deal with it. Deal with it constantly, and for some damn reason Louis couldn't figure out why he was mad at Harry. He just was. Right now it felt surreal, and it didn't feel normal. 

 "I'm not mad, I'm just annoyed." Louis says, his head relaxed on the headboard. Harry was standing at the food of the bed, left in his distress. Because, yeah, he was getting really sick of everything too. He couldn't blame Louis.

 "What do you want me to do? I'm trying to please everyone, I'm trying to do my best for the band, for us, I'm trying Lou. I'm sorry everything is so screwed up, and I've done most of it, and I can't figure out how to do the right thing, I'm just so tired." He grimaces, putting one knee on the mattress. 

 Louis held up a hand, not wanting to hear anymore. He was tired too, and listening to Harry just wasn't helping any of it. He thinks he should have more sympathy for him, but he just doesn't.

 "I don't know." Louis groans, making it clear he was done talking. 

 Harry feels it too, the anger and frustration that comes with all this. He understands why Louis is upset, because he feels everything Louis is feeling. He tries to not let it show, for the good of him. 

 Harry pulled his shirt over his head, and throws it in a corner. "Guess I'll leave you to your thoughts," he crawls on the bed, giving Louis a kiss on the cheek, "I love you more than anything, I'll be in the living room if you need something." He added.

 Louis didn't say anything, only left his face buried in his palms; while Harry stepped back on the floor and made his way into the living room. 

 He wanted to let Louis calm down, and he didn't want to upset him any more than he already was. Louis was like playing a game of russian roulette, you take your chances, never knowing when he would go off. Harry blames himself for it, but he also knows there is no possible way he could please everyone. So he just has to deal with it, and hope for the best in the long run. It will eventually be perfect, as long as they were together, of course nothing else mattered. If he can keep up his relationship with Louis, everything will be fine. And always will be.

 Harry stole a blanket from Liam's room, because he wasn't home. So it would be okay to use it, Liam wouldn't mind. 

 The TV was left on, but no one was in the room, maybe Zayn stayed up watching it, then was too tired to remember to switch it off. He didn't care, though. 

 He hated the couch, if he was honest, 'course, who would prefer sleeping on a couch when there are beds. Especially since he is exceptionally tall, not super tall, but tall enough that sleeping on the couch wasn't actually 'comfortable' to catch a kip. However, he cared more about Louis' feelings than his own comfort. 

 The house had thin walls, open halls, and you could hear just about everything that went on during the silence of the bedtime hours. Like the fridge in the kitchen, Harry could hear the glass bottles wiggling around and clanking against each other, the drawers sliding in and out like one of the boys was searching for something specific. Footsteps got closer to him, and he felt their presence in the room now.

 "You alright, mate?" Niall says, and Harry turns around seeing him with a sandwich. Midnight snacks, ya know, the usual. Harry probably would have gone for one right about now too, he's just got his mind circling around other things rather than his rumbling stomach.

 Harry sighs, but forces a smile. "Boyfriend problems, ya know." He muttered. Niall tries to be the love doctor, all the time. He's not very good at it, but it makes Harry quite happy to know that someone cares. 

 Niall shook his head, disappointed because this is happening way too often to be acceptable, so he hops over the back of the sofa and takes a seat by Harry. "Giving him time to blow off steam?" Niall asks. Taking a bite of his sandwich.

 "Yeah, 'course. I try to let him have his space when he's mad." Harry replied. He leaned into Niall, and took a large breath. "I just can't do anything right anymore, can I?" He groaned.

 Niall put his arms around him, squeezes him tight. "You're doing what you have to. I don't know how you do everything you do Harry, it's incredible, ya know? Louis understands, I know he does. He just gets a little pissed off, you know how jealous he gets." Harry's eyes wander around, rarely does it happen that Niall sits down and tries to give _serious_ advice; usually he'll just pat Harry on the back and tell them to make up with a snog.

 Harry knows Louis gets really jealous, though he has no reason to. Harry tries to put himself in Louis' shoes, and yeah, he would be really pissed off too. 

 "I know, at least he's really cute when he's jealous." Harry giggles, trying to make the better out of it. 

 "You bloody sap." Niall tells him, then puts on a dazed face. "He really is cute when he's jealous." He agrees. 

 Harry elbows him, "He's mine." he sneers. Using Niall's shoulder as a pillow now. Yeah, Niall is pretty soft, aside from the bread crumbs on his pj's.

 "He'll come around, I wouldn't be surprised if he's been listening to us through the vents." Niall laughs. It's a good thought, it would make Harry feel nice to know Louis wasn't completely done with him.

 "Maybe." Harry wonders. Snuggling his cheek into Niall's hoodie. He yawns against him, and Niall lets him. Because Harry's been through a lot, he needs to sleep. If Niall has to sit with this boy laid up against him for an extra thirty minutes, that wouldn't be that bad. He looked precious, anyway.

 A few hours later, though, it didn't feel like that to Harry, he was half awake and alone of the sofa. Something must have woke him up, he wasn't really sure of what though. So he closes his eyes again, and pulls the blanket over his shoulder. The darkness in the room was too thick to see through, Niall must have switched off the telly before he left, and tucked him in as well as he could before leaving to his own room. Niall is a really good person, Harry loved him for it.

 "Harry." A voice croaks, and Harry doesn't phase, he's too tired to even know his own name. The abyss, that was his mind at the moment, was eating up sound, letting it fade away. 

 "Harry, you awake?" He hears again. This time he manages to open an eye, and groan quietly. 

 "Huh-" He mumbled. Eyes begging to be closed again. 

 He feels someone climb on the couch, and squeeze behind him. He just knows it's Louis, his body warm, soft hitches of his voice, and the familiar huff of breath catches Harry's ears.

 "I'm sorry, love." Louis mummbles, sliding a hand around Harry. He felt guilty, Louis knows he should never get mad a Harry. Sometimes their life can just be a bit overwhelming, and he lets his emotions run over the ones he loves. He can't help it, he wishes he could control himself, but it's just how he handles things. Sometimes he wonders how Harry can even put up with him, he thinks Harry deserves better, but he calls himself selfish, because he knows he could never give Harry up. And fuck that, 'if you love them, let them go' bullshit. Hopefully Harry would disagree with him anyway, about him deserving better and all, because Louis really does love him. He just shows it unkindly at times.

 To Harry, this felt good, knowing that even after how upset Louis was, he still wanted to sleep beside him. "You don't have to apologize." Harry consoles him, and he takes a hold of his hand, kissing his knuckle. 

 "I love you so much, Haz." Louis whispers. His voice is raspy and weak, and Harry can tell when he's been choking back sobs, because his voice sounds like this. Throaty, and very rough, he loved it, just hated knowing Louis' been that taken back by this.

 "I love you more, so much more." He shuffles his body, facing Louis now. "You're stuck with me, you know that?" He kisses Louis, and runs his fingers through Louis' fringe. Like, it gets better each time he has the pleasure to kiss him. He falls for him even more with every touch of the lips, and it keeps getting better. He wonders when that will stop, maybe when they're married and are at each other's throats all time, but he hopes it will never stop. And the way they are right now, laid up against each other, kissing, he could stay like this for eternity and never get tired of it. 

 Louis pulls back, and Harry could faintly see his smile. "Ya sure? Dunno, you and Niall seemed to be pretty comfortable out here." Louis says. Harry chuckles, and shoots him a look. Thinking Niall might have been right, maybe Louis was listening through the vents, or spying- he didn't really know, but it was a funny thought.

 "Funny." Harry says against his mouth. He plants a kiss on Louis' nose, "I like it when you get jealous." he mutters softly, satisfaction was in his voice, and all over on his face.

 "Oi, I don't get jealous." He disagrees, but he knows Harry is right, like always.

 Harry shakes his head, and pulls Louis closer against him. "Cuddle." He says. And Louis doesn't need to be told again. 

He hooks his leg over him, breathing into his neck. "If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." Louis whispers, letting out a large breath. 

 Harry's almost drifting again, but jesus, Louis and his deep quotes. He's gotta resist and stay up just a bit longer.

 "Who's that one from, John Green? Dr. Suess?" He asked. 

 Louis shakes his head half disappointed, "Winnie the Pooh." he responded. Buring his face into Harry, not saying anything more, being this exhausted feels nice when you have this love. The kind you can feel, and not even the gods controlling the universe could make you un-feel it. 'Cause it's there, it's stuck. Maybe the whole 'soulmate' thing isn't a hoax that's only found in movies and romantic novels, perhaps it's real, and always was. 

 Yes, that was a good way to end things. Harry holding Louis in his arms, now his entire world was right next to him. So even if his life began to crumble a little, or he fucked up to no return, that would be okay. Why? because he had everything he needed. Maybe tomorrow wasn't the perfect day to ask Louis to marry him, maybe the next day wouldn't be either. He'll know when it's time to ask. And maybe him and Louis will spat again, and again, but that's okay, he's trying. He'll always be trying, and one day he's sure what he does will be good enough. 

He knows he wasn't the best at everything he did, not even close.  However, there is one thing he knew he was best at, and that was loving Louis Tomlinson. 

 


End file.
